Hey Peeps (I'm talking to you Grandparents),
It's been awhile, and I'm not sorry, I've been busy. I've been healthy, active, social and a bit mental. I think since I last blogged I've drank too many beers, walked too many KM's in the bush, spent too much time with friends, paddled into too many waves, been sick too much, worked way more than I've wanted to, but surprisingly my coffee consumption has stayed pretty low..... weird. Truth is I'm healthily unhealthy, as is often the case, I get excited let life get the better of me and I put my burners on to keep up, then my afterburners on to stay keeping up and before I know it I'm mental. Exhausted, frustrated, anxious and a little bit depressed. As my big sister said to me the other day, (months ago) be human, she was referring to me and my nonchalant attitude towards a recent break up, and my need to chill the fuck out! I never listen to her, but she is pretty much always right. I do need to chill the fuck out, I just don't really know how. I thought surfing was chilling the fuck out, it turns out it's not, its strenuous, and energy sucking. I thought running was chilling out it turns out its not it's energy sucking and strenuous. I do love to run and surf and they will both never not be a part of my life, but I need to actually chill. So what is chilling the fuck out, and where do I fit this in my busy non existent schedule? I guess, it consists of any activity, which can bring you to a more mindful point of existence. Meditation, bing! Writing, bing! Reading, bing! Creating, bing! All of which I am absolutely struggling to do at this point in my life, no wait! At any point in my life, I have, do and will struggle with this chilling thing. Call it what you want, I am a guy who likes to always be stimulated, I need that constant dopamine hit to keep me satisfied, more than ever I have begun to realise how that affects my life in both negative and positive ways. If I ever sit down to work away at a task on my computer it is a constant struggle to stay focused, I am constantly looking for any excuse to be distracted. Sleeping at night if I never managed to go for a run or get my heart rate over 160+ BPM for at least 30 mins of the day. Ever wondered why I'm so averagely ok at so many random things, you guessed it! I have an attention span less than average of the general human population (human attention spans are getting worse not better, popular belief is that the goldfish is beating us as a species now, thanks social media, I do love the internet though its full of awesome stuff). Contrary to all this negativity, there is a good side to these hypo traits; I am usually fun to be around if you are looking to charge, I can usually summon the energy for just about any physical activity regardless of my physical state (e.g. hungover hiking), I will talk your ear off about the most random shit you ever heard even if I just met you, I will jump into a cold river on the edge of summer and catch a salmon with my hands, I will do a handstand twice on the d-floor and accidentally kick an innocent bystander in the head. So first world problem or something to write home about? I dunno, but this is my blog so I'm gonna write home about it.
In all my life I've never really sat down to think what it might be like to date me, to be close enough to me that you can't, in a nice way, say Joel, STOP! Or just take a break for a month or two like any normal friend could. I can just imagine the thoughts going through my partner(s) heads, when I've forgotten to fill the car up with petrol, the fill tank light is on, we are in the absolute boonies and I just wanna go swim in a lake on sunset if the car stops we'll just walk or hitchhike. Or they are trying to have the break-up lets just be friends conversation with me and I feel the urge to vocally announce that, "I've bloody forgotten to buy dental floss".
"I've bloody forgotten to buy dental floss"
It can't be that bad? It actually sounds quite comical, like you couldn't write this stuff. Well maybe you can, but I don't need to, cause it's just generally what goes down in my life. Never a dull moment. Anyway regardless of this relationship stuff there are more serious things at play here, I just thought that I'd throw those in there to paint a better picture of who y'all are dealing with, if you aren't already dealing with it. But more seriously, how the fuck am I gonna be able to drive from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska to Ushuaia, Argentina in a currently non existent EV campervan that charges on solar power, whilst documenting the entire trip in Youtube videos and Instagram photos, departing before the end of June 2018, imagine all the distractions, beers, waves, humans, mountains. At least I won't have to remember to fill up the gas tank!? Right!? It's daunting, overwhelming and I haven't even started yet. It gets me to thinking, how the fuck did I learn to read? How the fuck did I start playing guitar? How the fuck did I finish primary school, high school, TAFE and graduate university? An answer I have come up with in positivity is probably, by being a hyperactive attention seeking little fuck (HASLF) who is too stubborn to quit. Truth is I like myself, I enjoy my world, although I understand that I need to chill out a bit more, for mine and my social circles sake, for all intents and purposes being a HASLF is pretty darn fun. I have a great life, and am regularly reminded of that by those who surround me.
So I started writing this blog at 2 it is now 4.40ish, I've been on facebook, Instagram and played with the dog, I've managed to stay reasonably still except for getting up to test my pee for ketones and glucose limits. I have negative blood sugar and Low to medium ketone counts, FYI. Plan or current state of affairs as follows: I quit drinking for the time being, diet like a man on a mission, I am gonna try my darndest to find time to meditate and generally chill the fuck out, write more blogs, create more content for the peeps. Most of all I am gonna get this dang trip done and dusted out of my system, and I'm gonna enjoy myself while doing it. Anyone objections? No. Good! 2:40 mins start to finish for a 5 min read I never said I was gonna be quick at any of it.